Certainty is a Hoax

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."

- Og Mandino -

You and I may not be alive tomorrow. No matter how you may want to argue against this statement, you have to concede this point. We simply don't know. We can't be certain.

The idea of uncertainty came alive for me when I found myself suddenly divorced and wondering how I could feel so completely undone in such a short space of time. Everything that I thought my life was about was gone. Who was I if not a wife and mother in a life I thought was set for the rest of my days on earth? The anger set in and I raged against the universe which had not delivered what it was supposed to have delivered.

The story I had unconsciously believed (about "how life will go") was a hoax.

Bad things do happen to good people.

The bull will charge the vegan!

(And marriages can end quite suddenly in divorce - even mine!)

It was time to create a new story that helped me feel strong despite the uncertainty of life.

Slowly the anger faded and I started creating a new life with new meaning (and this is hard work). One thing that has not faded is the understanding that nothing is certain. At first, this was the fuel for my rage and now it is the fuel for my quest to work on being the best version of myself in every moment. I believe that Buddhists refer to this as "impermanence": Everything ends. Perhaps that is the only certainty.

Events will still knock me down but I am no longer under the illusion that all happiness comes from outside of me. I find that this view of life provides the perspective I need to find the courage to be who I really want to be and do what I really want to do. Meaning is the outcome and happiness is the side-effect.

We are all aware of our human fragility and yet we tend to scurry about this planet as 'though we are guaranteed plenty of time. "When I'm thinner I'll be more confident." "When my kids are out of school, I'll look after myself better." "When I've got more money I'll be happy." "When I'm married I'll feel worthy."

Be more confident now.

Look after yourself now.

Be happy now.

Feel worthy now.

Tomorrow everything could be different.